• What do you call a pony with a cough?
A little horse.
• What did one hat say to the other?
You wait here. I’ll go on a head.
• What do you call a magic dog?
A labracadabrador.
• What did the shark say when he ate the clownfish?
This tastes a little funny.
• What’s orange and sounds like a carrot?
A parrot.
• Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
Because the “P” is silent.
• What do you call a woman with one leg?
Eileen.
• What did the pirate say when he turned 80?
Aye matey.
• Why did the frog take the bus to work today?
His car got toad away.
• What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?
Bison.
• What is an astronaut’s favorite part on a computer?
The space bar.
• Why did the yogurt go to the art exhibition?
Because it was cultured.
• What do you call an apology written in dots and dashes?
Re-Morse code.
• Did you hear about the two people who stole a calendar?
They each got six months.
• Why did the hipster burn his mouth?
He drank the coffee before it was cool.
• What do cows do on date night?
Go to the moo-vies.